Blog Award

I got this award from Nomee. Sorry la Nomee. Lambat ah sket. Aku busy siot.And If Im not mistaken Muzee pon ada pernah tag aku. Anyways, thanks for the award. Not sure whether I earned it or not :) But since orang dah bagi, hambik je la kan.

This is Nomee's description about me:

'Kami sama-sama di PPP. Tapi masa tu tak kenal sangat. Dah berblogging i baru ada tegur menegur dalam comment box. He is very sincere in his entries.'

First of, I'm very happy with her comment. It makes me feel good about this blog :)

Before I start to do this tag. These are the rules set that I copy paste from Nomee’s blog.

# Write five (5) interesting facts about the person who gave you this award.
# Jot down ten (10) interesting facts about yourself or your hobbies.
# Pick your ten (10) most deserving recipients and describe them.
# Leave a comment on the recipients' blog to tell them they've been tagged
# Paste the award badge in your sidebar

Five interesting facts about Nomee:

1. Macam dia cakap la. Masa kat PPP dulu, kitorang tak rapat. Aku ni shy guy la beb. Tapi Nomee ni kalo ditegur pon tak kekok. Aku ingat dulu kitorang ada lepak kat student lounge in between classes. So kekadang aku ade gak join kengkawan dia borak. Dia punya layan cam dah kenal aku 20 tahun. So kira friendly la Nomee nih.

2. Orang Negeri Sembilan. Aku suka orang N9 ni sbb bahasa dia best. Lgpon sebab aku dulu pon belajar kat N9. So ada sentimental value la sket. Tp bukan sentimental value kat ko tau Nomee :)

3. Nomee ni la satu2nya budak batch aku yang kerja dalam industri hotel. Rasanya takde orang lain keje hotel nih. Tul tak Nomee?

4. Dia ni suka sangat kat Shah Alam. Dah la dulu belajar kat Shah Alam, keje pon kat Shah Alam. Teringat aku kat goreng pisang seksyen 19. Sedapnyaaaa....

5. Entry dia best gak. Ada citer hantu la, citer marah kat bos la, banyak la citer pasal life dia. Usually aku tak minat sangat baca pasal life orang nih. Sebab usually, semua orang termasuk la aku skali, life kita ni selalunya routine je. Tapi sbb mungkin Nomee nih pandai bercerita kot. Tu yang agak best tu. Sket je la. Maleh aku nak puji lebih2 :)

Ok, first step done. Nexxttttt!!!!!


10 interesting facts about yourself or your hobbies

1. My birthday - 26 December (1977). It's also the day when Malaysia was hit by Tsunami 2004. So ingat aku ingat Tsunami.

2. I value friendship. I really do. My friends are like my second family. If I'm stressed, I'll go to them to unwind. To my friends, thanks for everything. You know who you are.

3. I only had one girlfriend. She is now my wife and the mother of my boys. Kira Kekasih Awal dan Akhir la nih. We courted for about 10 years before finally tied the knot in 19 December 2003 <-- I double checked the date to make sure I got it right...ehehheh.

4. After SPM, I didn't even buy the UiTM application form. I was very berlagak and arrogant then. To me, UiTM was only for 2nd Grader. Tapi Allah itu Maha Besar, he taught me a lesson, I didn't get to further my study to USA in 97, UiTM was the only university to have opened their arms and welcomed me to join them. I eventually gruaduated with Bachelor in Accountancy (Honors) in UiTM. Ironic!

5. I hate cicak. I'm always squemish around them. But my boys do not seemed to be bothered by this cold blooded creature. Siap boleh kejar lagi. The other day, I was escorting Alif to the bathroom. He wanted to wee wee. I told him to take off his pants and then I turned on the light when suddenly a cicak fell from the ceiling. The three of us froze as we tried to decipher the situation. When the reality kicked in, all of us ran. The cicak was running away from me. I was running away from the cicak. Alif, still half naked, was running AFTER the cicak. When asked of his action, he told me 'ustazah kata kalo jumpa cicak kena bunuh, sebab dia dulu tak tolong nabi muhammad (s.a.w). Tapi kalo jumpa spider takpe. Dia tolong nabi'. Sejuk hati aku.

...penat ah...nanti aku sambung.....

updated 9.32 am 280709

6. I'm not good in receiving information through audio. Especially radio. I could memorize a complete song and still dont know what it is about. Seriously. My brain receives the info but do not process it. Unless if I force it too. I'm more of 'seing is believing' kind of guy.

7. I'm obsessed with watching TV. I could spend one whole weekend by just sitting in front of the TV. But not to the extend of being a couch potato though. Yup, my wife hates my hobby. She can only talk to me during the commercial :)

8. Other than TV, I like reading books. Thriller novels - espionage, mystery that kind of stuffs. Unfortunately, Ipoh does not have good book stores. The best store that we have is MPH. The store is small and the books are limited. Not good enough for me. That's why whenever I visit KL, I'll make sure to stop by at Kinokuniya, Times etc,etc.

9. My family is strength and it is also my weakness. Catch my drift?

10. I don't like satay. I'll not be offended if you eat satay and not offer it to me. Something about satay that really turn me off. I dont know what. I think something happened when I was small la. Maybe I had a nightmare about satay. Or maybe after watching that Sundel Bolong movie. Dunno la.

There, It's done!

I've decided not to pick 10 other poeple simply because I do not have enough blogger friends :) And those who have blogs, already did this tag. So that's it.

Repeat

Tonight, there will be repeat between Malaysia and Manchester United. Man U has cancelled their game in Jakarta due to security reason and instead replaced it with a second match with Malaysia. Last Saturday, Man U won 3-2.

I was actually impressed with the scoreline. I was expecting of at least 3-0 bashing to Malaysia. But I guess this time they really pulled it through huh? Congrats la. It may not be a win. But it was an eye opener to Malaysian fans. Is there a hope? Only time will tell.

So, tonight I think it's not going to be easy. I reckon Man U will play with full might. They need to save their ego too. So my prediction is - it's gonna be a thrashing to Malaysia. But still, deep in my heart, I hope Malaysia will survive this match. Good luck lads!!!

Ayop

Ayop sent a message on facebook the other day. A day after I posted 'Ashamed'. He said

'I've just finished reading your last entry. Frankly, I agree with Kazarul. December babies usually have an easier path in life. Like you and me....'

To Ayop, You completely missing the point dude. It wasn't about being December baby nor having an easy path in life. It's about the need to be grateful with what we have in life! Hope this will clarify my intention in 'Ashamed'. Peace!!

Murder of Suicide

I was not in the office today as I was in a one day meeting marathon. So I was clueless and deprived of information. I didn't watch the news because I watched a delayed match of St Gallen vs Liverpool. It was a draw.

However, about 30 minutes ago, I switched on my laptop and started reading the blogs. I was shocked to find out about the death of a special officer/ polsec of a Selangor Exco member. He was found lifeless on the roof of a building adjacent to the SPRM office and believed to have fallen from the SPRM building. Before that, he was in the SPRM office to facilitate investigation regarding some corruption case. I guess by now, you guys already know about this case. So no need to elaborate lah.

The question in debate is whether he committed suicide or was he murdered. Frankly, it's too early to tell. But in my sincerest opinion, nobody from SPRM would murder him. I'm sure of that. SPRM has everything to lose by murdering him. It's ridiculous to even have that kind of idea about SPRM.

Whatever it is, I hope the police will do their best to investigate this case.

Ashamed

I have three good news so far this year. Well, that's not entirely true eh. I get good news almost everyday. But this three beat the rest of them.

First, I was awarded the Hadiah Latihan Persekutuan or HLP. HLP is an education award to government servants who by receiving this award is eligible to further their studies free of charge. The government is paying for everything. I'll be furthering my study in the US of A next year. Insya Allah. Hopefully this time there will be no more hurdles like the one I had in 97. But since I've gone through the 97 calamity, I'm taking it easy this time. Anything could happen in a year right?

Second, I finally passed my PTK. Yahoo!!!!! Now, I can apply for confirmation.

Third, I sat for my TOEFL and I passed. I got 98, which surpasses the JPA requirement of 92. But I've got to admit it, I'm not entirely happy with my result though. I targeted at least a 100. To be so near and yet so far is utterly frustrating. But you know what, always be grateful with what you have. If you want more you gotta work harder.

Despite all this, I'm actually ashamed. I'm ashamed to God. I know for a fact that I'm not really a good or perfect muslim and yet I'm blessed with His love. I'm confused as I was ready for bad news. Instead, I was showered with these magnificent gifts. If you were me, will you be ashamed?

I guess, these are actually tests. God is testing me whether I'll be grateful or will I be straying away from the rightful path.

I know that some of you are not superstitious. You say - Good thing happens and shit happens too. Well, I'm not like that. I believe things happen not only because we deserved it, or because we worked for it. It happens also with the help of divine intervention. An element that most of us have been ignoring. So, I'll stop neglecting. I'll strive to be a better muslim. Will you join me? :)

Emotional eh? Drama? ahahah...I admit I'm a little bit emotional la. I remember one day when I was lepaking with Kazarul in NZ. We were wasting our time talking about the past. You know la, the same old stories repeated all over again and yet it didn't bore us. I was telling him although we had a lot of fun in college, it wasn't actually a walk in a park. We worked hard to survive, I said.

Kazarul paused for a while and then he smiled. He said, 'tapi jalan ko sebenarnya senang rul, ko je tak perasan'. I was puzzled.

He continued 'ko masa study dulu exam lepas, degree pon lepas, pastu keje pon ko senang, takyah nak interview banyak kali, dapat PTD pon senang, pastu dlm PTD pon naik pangkat pon senang, rezeki ko murah rul' (I didn't repeat his words verbatim. Just the gist la eh)

It took me a moment for the his words to sip through my brain, but then I realized that he was correct. He's not saying I'm the luckiest person in the world. What he's trying to say is that my life is simply better than others.

I was a little bit proud for a moment. But then I got scared. How long would a good luck streak last? I've been taking so much and forgot to give. So that's why I'm a little emotional. I (we) am not getting younger you know. Rumah kata pergi, kubur kat mari. Let's do something to balance our lives. Lets show some initiatives. And hopefully God will bless us. Insya Allah....

As a conclusion, Kazarul...bila nak lepak kat uptown ni? :))

Uneasy

I have this uneasy feeling regarding the happenings in this country lately. Something is wrong. Something is not right.

Since I work outside the city, I could sense the feelings of the 'orang-orang kampung'. They too are feeling this uneasiness. But of course, these people, being brought up in full tradition and culture of the people in this part of South East Asia, didn't say anything out loud.

They were taught not to hurt other people's feeling even though their hearts are aching. They were taught to avoid conflicts as far as possible. These people, even though they are crying inside, they will themselves to force a smile. Reminds me of Micheal Jackson :)

One of the first thing taught to my friends and I when we first reported for government service was that we need to learn to 'memendam rasa'. Of course then, we didn't know what 'memendam rasa' was. After more than five years, I'm now immune to it. I'm immune to this uneasiness.

I'm immune to people who speaks cheaply just to be the hero of the day and then would be the first to chicken out when the first sign of failure surfaces. He would run as far and as fast as possible so that others would have to clean up his messy concoction of stupidity and arrogance. Once everything is back to order, the coward freak will come back and claim everything to his name. As usual, the person who did the actual damage control would 'memendam rasa'.

I think we need to stop this memendam rasa culture. It's not healthy. This was the way the British treated us when they were here. They said, they were the Tuans, so need to abide to everything they have to say. But now, they are long gone, we are the Tuans. We need to speak up. Do not let others who do not have the right to speak in the first place, speak. Eventually, we'll be left behind.

Like one of my friends said about me in her blog, I'm trying to make sense of the happenings around me. She is right. I'm trying. I believe others are trying too.

At time like this, I'll listen to this song to cheer me up. Hope it'll cheer you guys too.

Disini lahirnya sebuah cinta

Yang murni abadi sejati

Disini tersemai cita cita

Bercambah menjadi warisan

Andai ku terbuang tak diterima

Andai aku disingkirkan

Kemana harusku bawakan

Kemana harusku semaikan cinta ini

Betapa

Dibumi ini ku melangkah

Keutara selatan timur dan barat

Ku jejaki

Aku

Bukanlah seorang perwira

Gagah menjunjung senjata

Namun hati rela berjuang

Walau dengan cara sendiri

Demi cinta ini

Ku ingin kotakan seribu janji

Sepanjang kedewasaan ini

Ku ingin sampaikan pesanan

Aku lah penyambung warisan