of being blunt

A friend of mine posted a note on her Facebook last week. It was about how she likes to say what's on her mind and sometimes being so blunt and eventually hurt someone else's feeling. ahahhaha....

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I've been knowing her for years now, and I admit that she sometimes offended me with her speak-my-mind style. But since we are friends and I'm also the hati kering kind of person, no damage done. Frens are meant to annoy each other whatttt....ehehehee....

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However, I feel that there is a very thin line between being perfectly honest/blunt and being rude. Unfortunately lah. I'd agree that we sometimes need to be blunt, especially to the very annoying people around us. In my line of work, I meet annoying people almost everyday. People who do not even know what they really want, but still want to blame someone else for their failures.

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Handling these kind of people is really taxing - mentally. Sometimes the devilish side of me just want to kick their asses out of the office, but somehow I managed to keep myself together.

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Before I go further, I just want to say that I'm not an expert of human psyche ok. Just want to share some experience :P <---disclaimer nih :)

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I feel that we need to train ourselves to be bluntly honest and yet still being polite and acceptable. Because there's no point of blurting what's in your head and yet not getting the message to the receiver rite? You accomplish nothing and maybe it'll cost you a friend. So mebbe you want to add elements of politeness and subtlety whenever you want to be blunt.

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For example, let say if I want to marah my son because he's playing with matches, I'd say

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Alif Hafi, jangan la main mancis tuuu.... dangerous tau.... nanti kalo terbakar alif kena masuk hospital nantii.... kena makan ubat & doctor inject alif dengan needle bigggg sangat..... takut tak?

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instead of

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bleh tak kalo ko jangan main mancis ni..... nak mampos ke apa haaa.... nanti kalo terbakar rumah ni sapa yang susah?..... aku jugak yg susah

Nampak tak. If it was me, I'd definitely be more comfortable with the first one. The message is very well received. In the second one, Alif might stop playing the matches, but not because of he understands the danger, but because he is scared of me.

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Tapi tu la kan. At the end of the day, we are just humans and we are not perfect. We are who we are, and it's difficult to change that. So if you ever offended someone, just go and apologize la....forgive & forget!